Forwarded Fun!

* I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
* Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
* I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
* The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard.. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
* There is a great need for sarcasm font.
* Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
* How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
* I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
* I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
* The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
* Was learning cursive really necessary?
* I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
* How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
* I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front.
* MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
* Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
* I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
* Bad decisions and bad experiences make good stories
* You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
* There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
* I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
* As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
* Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
* It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
* I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
* Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey- but I'd bet my a$$ everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...